Posted in College, Family, Girls, Holidays, Lifestyle, New Year, University

Confession: The In’s & Out’s of Resolutions

In which 2015 has arrived, resolutions are made, and happiness is achieved.

“New Year; New Me!” is a common phrase heard around this time of the year. Whether male or female, young or old, it is not weird to want to make changes for the new year. Neither is it a bad thing. However, resolutions have the power to leave a good number of people without the happiness they were expecting to receive from it. Completing a resolution may involve less time to do other activities, or other activities that make you happy being completely forgotten in lieu of these new resolutions. Either way, without the proper balance, happiness may not be achieved.

In all honesty, that should be the ultimate New Year’s resolution: to reach happiness; to be happy.

Most resolutions involve weight and/or love. Below are two common resolutions that are made, a personal idea in order to tweak them as to complete them and/or reach happiness, and what I feel could possibly be the key to successfully completing one’s own New Year’s resolutions and being happy all at once.

Do not set a target weight for you to lose; just workout until you are happy. 

“I want to lose twenty pounds”, “This year, I’m going to weigh fifteen pounds less”, “My New Year’s resolution is to lose thirty pounds!”

These phrases are common New Year’s resolutions heard by both men and women, especially college girls. Whether it is to impress a boyfriend, impress the male population in general, to be the most attractive individual in our friend group, or just to look good, most college girls set out to lose weight. For some reason—and I found myself at fault of this, as well—we like to weigh ourselves and set a target weight to achieve. What is the problem with this, you ask? Well, here is my experience.

Around this time last year—my second semester of my Freshman year—I decided I would lose fifteen pounds even though a few people told me it would be too much. As the weeks went on I did find myself losing weight. Before the end of the semester I was at my target weight, however I cannot say I was happy. Being at my target weight called for a lot more work than it did to make my target weight. I now had to watch what I ate, control my workouts, and deal with school and activities simultaneously. It soon became a chore rather than an accomplishment.

I hated it.

Not only was it a chore, but I was not really happy. My body was just not the way I wanted it to look. I actually found that I needed a few more pounds added on.

I’m just going to tell you the moral of the story instead of droning on about my weight issues: do not set a target weight. Workout until you get to a body size that you are happy with. If you only get halfway to your “target weight” but you are happy with it, then stay there. When you do something you love or are at something you love, whatever it took to come to that point is not a chore; it is something you find fun, something you enjoy, something you love.

Do set a target weight, but do not focus on meeting it.

This year, focus on making yourself physically happy.

We found love in a hopeless place—not we looked for love in a hopeless place.

“This year I’m going to fall in love.” “I’m looking for a relationship this year.” “I want a boyfriend before the end of the year.” NO!

No! No! No! No! No!

You do not need to make plans to fall in love or engage in a relationship. You do not need to go looking for a significant other. Honestly, you do not need a significant other to survive, but that is a different story. I am by no means saying it is not okay to say “this year, I want to fall in love”. That is fine. Saying “this year, I will fall in love” is also fine. Take note, however, that the terms “want” and “will” connotes two different ideas.

By saying “I want to fall in love”, one is revealing that she is open to the idea of love. By saying “I will fall in love”, one is revealing that it is inevitable for said one to fall in love. The latter implies you will do whatever it takes to fall in love or to have a relationship.  Your immense desire to fall in love and be in a relationship could compel you to actually go out and look for love.

Ladies, you should not and do not have to go out and search for love. The best kind of love stories occur because of random acts of kindness that grows to friendship that grows to care that grows to be so much more, which creates a relationship between two individuals.

As cliche and fairytale-like as this might sound, let love find you. I am not saying to just sit back and wait for it to happen. Go out and be active, hang out with friends, make new friends, participate in activities that appeal to you.

Enjoy yourself. Enjoy life. When/If it is time for you to be in a relationship, it will happen without much—if any at all—extra effort.

When the time is right, it will make itself known—you just have to read the signs.

Equilibrium is the key. 

I could go on about the issues of specific resolutions, but that is not today’s point. Resolutions are not bad ideas, nor should they be avoided. If planned out realistically, I think they can be well-executed and may even serve to better the individual physically, mentally and emotionally. However, creating a target weight or willing yourself to fall in love are not examples of realistic planning.

You have to truly know yourself. You have to know how much you are taking on. You have to know how much you can take on in addition to what you are currently taking on. You have to be able to differentiate what you can take on from what you cannot take on.

You have to be able to balance everything.

Think about it. In one semester I wanted to end up with all A’s, lose fifteen pounds, participate in four organizations on school that would enrich my resume, and have time to have a social life. When that semester came to a close, I ended up with two A’s and two B’s, I lost fifteen pounds but I could not necessarily say I was happy with it, I participated in four organizations but not to my best ability due to my studies, and, although I still had friends, I rarely spent time with them because I was studying, participating in organizations, and working out.

While my GPA was fine, my weight was lost, the organizations were participated in, and I still had a social life, I was not necessarily happy with that particular semester. The lack of balance in my life that semester did not allow me to be completely happy about one individual activity. Had I not set a target weight and just worked out until I was happy, maybe I would have had more time to focus on my studies, to participate in my organizations, and to hang out with my friends. Or maybe if I had decided to participate in only three organizations, I would have not only participated to my best ability, but also had more time to indulge in the other three activities.

“Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.” — Ron Swanson

The point is: balance is the key in successfully seeing your New Year’s resolutions out completely.

Ladies, for 2015, I urge you to not set a target weight, to not look for love, to not make excessive plans, and so on. I urge you to be happy; to do what makes you happy.

You know what? If you are happy setting a target weight to reach, then set it. If you are happy actively looking for love rather than spending more time doing whatever it is that you love, than look. If you’re making good grades but possibly not having a lot of time for your friends and family, than make those grades.

In 2015, I just want to be happy.

In 2015, I just want you to be happy.

Do whatever it takes.

I’m just an average college girl with many stories; many words; many confessions. These are just some of the confessions of an average college girl to average college girls.

…And there are many more to come.

Happy New Year,

Kay

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22 | Aspiring Journalist | Avid Blogger | Broadcast Journalism & Political Science Major | Sports Enthusiast |

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